my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
one time i was going to feed my dog a fruit and i picked up an orange but i was 4 am so i just threw the orange at his face and somehow that orange disappeared i swear to god he ate that whole orange with one bite and i dont know how
i was 4 am
tumblr user lolinepeta planned to feed his pet dog so hard, he became a measurement of time.
whenever i’m sad I think to myself that somewhere in the world this cute little puppy wearing pyjamas and little ducky slippers is out there
and then I’m not sad anymore